My little sister passed on New Year's Eve. It was sudden--the injury that rendered her brain dead and on life support for six days. She was taken to the hospital and intubated on my son Ryan's 13th birthday, and taken off the ventilator on the last day of the year.
I' wanted to say I was done grieving as of last week. I mean, I was finally able to pull myself out of bed, cook my first meal for the kids since I heard about my sister's "accident," and feeling as if the darkness were finally receding. That is until I made the huge mistake of uploading a very explicit scene from one of my works for a student to read. I had meant to copy and paste some information for this student; instead, my writing was left on my computer's "clipboard." Suffice it to say, the scene was a bit...racy. Good, but racy. Maybe one day, after I make it as that successful author, I'll put the quote on a t-shirt and start making money from it...
Since then, I've been put on suspension until God knows when. I wanted to stop writing, seeing as though it was MY words that got me into trouble. It also didn't help that I received my first two rejections from lit agents that same week. God, what a miserable week that was--what a miserable YEAR it's been, actually. But as someone told me, my writing is my love--why give that up? And that I have to look at the intentions behind my actions. Did I intend on uploading that particular scene for the student? Nope! So say you're sorry, take your responsibility, and keep on writing.
So here's to my late sister and to many more rejections as I keep searching for my agent.
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