Tomorrow I host my big event, "My Coming Out Party," which will be given in honor of the very first essay I had published. It's kind of like a book release party, but without the actual book. I figured that hosting the "party," or really dinner, would be an excellent way to praise all that God has helped me to accomplish, as well as a way to take lots of gorgeous pics for some social platform marketing.
I'm excited, but more nervous than anything. If you haven't seen my anxiety blog that is connected to this site (www.myanxietymycurse.com), then you probably have no idea that I suffer terribly from anxiety. And it's this anxiety that keeps me from experiencing happy feelings for more than a minute. So while I'm excited to go to the Hard Rock Cafe and celebrate with people who've watched me grow as a writer, I'm sitting here worrying about everything I CAN worry about--are we going to have enough seats at the table...is somebody going to show up at the last minute...are people going to get along with one another...am I going to be able to pull my look off by the time I have to leave for the Harbor...? While I know that I shouldn't worry about these stupid things, I can't help it.
But in the here and now, I'm getting ready. Nails and hair done tomorrow, and I've got the set of "nerdy" glasses for everyone to wear at dinner, so I'm going to pretend that everything is OK.
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